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The Critic

In the style of

Toby Keith

Lyrics

tell it like it is
he gets up
real early on his
mornin' drive

down to the office
for his
nine-to-five
he drives a '94
two-tone
economy car

loves to tell
the local bands
down at the bar
that he's the critic
yeah
i can hook ya up
i know everybody
in the business

he flunked
junior high band
he couldn't
march in time

he tried to
write a song once
but he couldn't
make it rhyme
he learned
two or three chords
on a pawnshop guitar

he just
never quite had
what it took
to be a star
so he's a critic
i work for
the gazette man
i got a real job

he did a
five-star column
on a band
you never heard
he did
a bluegrass review
without an
unkind word

he thought it was time
to ask his boss
for a raise
his boss said
i can't even tell
if anybody's
even readin' your page
yeah

so he thought
and he thought
a little more

he caught
a young hot star
headed into town
and then he hid
behind his typewriter
and gunned
the boy down

here come the letters
the e-mails the faxes
they raised him to
twenty thousand
dollars
after taxes

he's a happy critic
eh heh yeah
he's rollin'
in the dough

uh man i could
do this forever
this is easy
they're all
readin' my column
please don't
tell my mom

that i write
the music column
for the gazette
she still thinks
that i play piano
down at the cathouse
man

let's get funky
with this
now boys play it on
come on shannon
there's old biff
jumpin' in

glenn's layin' it down
yeah
come on shannon
ah yes
my man steve

man my fingers
are gettin' tired
y'all gonna have to
hurry here
this snappin' thing's
wearin' me out

there's old shannon
guess he was
on a coffee break man
they're gon' love you
'cause they already
love me
yeah
it's the critic

Details

  • Duration : 3:57
  • Key : G
  • Genre : Country
  • Year released : 2003
  • Language : English

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