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(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs

In the style of

Hairspray

Lyrics

front step
cha cha cha

back step
cha cha cha

side step
front step

back and turn

oh my god penny

there's link, link

i can't believe

i'm really here auditioning

i can't believe i'm really here

watching you audition

front step
cha cha cha

back step
cha cha cha

side step
front step

back

and oh amber
look at this motley crew

oh, this town sure gone down hill
since i was crowned miss

oh mother

no more ancient history

oh my god
how times have changed

these girls must be blind
or completely deranged

but times seem to halt
when i was

miss baltimore crabs

amber, that move is far too dirty

mother, wake up

from that dream of yours

this isn't nineteen thirty

you can laugh but life's a test
don't do this, don't do that

remember, mother knows best

and the crowns in the vault
from when i won

miss baltimore crabs

these steps

are perfect ammunition

let me show you
how your mommy dear

took out the competition

girls go get them
boys let rumba

one two three four
five six seven

those poor runner ups
might still hold some grudges

they padded their cups

but i screwed the judges
those brawds thought

they'd win

if a plate they would
spin in there dance

ah ah ah, not a chance

boys put me down
oh good morning ladies

let's see what you got

twist twist twist twist

mashed potato, mambo

ready? begin
on my show you'll never find

a thrusting hip
or bump and grind

what's that a dance

for flees and ticks

oh you should have seen
my bag of tricks

oh i hit
the stage batons ablaze

while belting aita
and preparing soufflés

but that triple somersault
is how i clinched

miss baltimore crabs

proceed

are you scared we're on live?

no i'm sure i can cope

well this show

isn't broadcasted

cinemascope

i never drank
one chocolate malt

no deserts for
miss baltimore crabs

this one will never get a date

in those hand me down clothes

ah, kid she'll never get a date
until daddy buys her

a new nose
i would say oy gavault

if i wasn't
miss baltimore crabs

do you dance like you dress?

amber there's no need

to be cruel

would you swim
in an integrated pool?

i sure would

i'm all for integration

it's the new frontier

not in baltimore it isn't
and may i be frank

first impressions can be tough
and when i saw you i knew it

if your size weren't enough
your last answer just blew it

and so my dear so short
and stout

you'll never be in
so we're kicking you out

so we're kicking you out

with your form and your face
ah it isn't your fault

you're just down with a case

of miss baltimore crabs

huh huh
you may go

mmm, thank you

i think they secretly liked you

may i please audition?

ah ah ah of course not
but you may bow and exalt

because i am
miss baltimore crabs

ooh

crabs

crabs

crabs

Details

• Duration : 4:09
• Key : Fm
• Genre : Showtunes
• Year released : 2007
• Language : English

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