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Amish Paradise

In the style of

"Weird Al" Yankovic

Lyrics

as i walk
through the valley
where i harvest
my grain
i take a look at
my wife and realize
she's very plain

but that's
just perfect
for an amish like me
you know i shun
fancy things
like electricity

at four-thirty
in the mornin'
i'm milkin' cows
jebediah feeds
the chickens
and jacob plows

fool
and i've been milkin'
and plowin'
so long that
even ezekiel thinks
that my mind is gone

i'm a man
of the land
i'm into discipline
got a bible
in my hand
and a beard
on my chin

but if i finish
all of my chores
and you finish thine
then tonight
we're gonna party
like it's 1699

we've been spendin'
most our lives
livin' in an
amish paradise
i churned butter
once or twice
livin' in an
amish paradise

it's hard work
and sacrifice
livin' in an
amish paradise
we sell quilts
at discount price
livin' in an
amish paradise

a local boy
kicked me
in the butt
last week
i just smiled at him
and i turned
the other cheek

i really don't care
in fact
i wish him well
'cause i'll be
laughin' my head off
when he's
burnin' in hell

but i ain't never
punched a tourist
even if
he deserved it
an amish
with a 'tude
you know
that's unheard of

i never wear buttons
but i got
a cool hat
and my homies agree
i really look good
in black
fool

if you come to visit
you'll be
bored to tears
we haven't
even paid
the phone bill in
three hundred years

but we ain't
really quaint
so please don't
point and stare
we're just
technologically
impaired

there's no phone
no lights
no motorcar
not a single luxury
like robinson
caruso
it's as primitive
as can be

we've been spendin'
most our lives
livin' in an
amish paradise
we're just
plain and simple guys
livin' in an
amish paradise

there's no time
for sin and vice
livin' in an
amish paradise
we don't fight
we all play nice
livin' in an
amish paradise

hitchin' up the buggy
churnin' lots
of butter
raised a barn
on monday
soon i'll
raise anutter

think you're
really righteous
think you're
pure in heart
well i know
i'm a million times as
humble as thou art

i'm the pious guy
the little amlettes
wanna be like
on my knees
day and night
scorin' points
for the afterlife

so don't be vain
and don't be whiny
or else my brother
i might have to
get medieval
on your heinie

we've been spendin'
most our lives
livin' in an
amish paradise
we're all
crazy mennonites
livin' in an
amish paradise

there's no cops
or traffic lights
livin' in an
amish paradise
but you'd probably
think it bites
livin' in an
amish paradise

Details

  • Duration : 3:20
  • Key : Cm
  • Genre : Specialty
  • Year released : 1996
  • Language : English

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